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I have good news and
bad news:
Patient: I'm in a
hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a
bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and
some bad news. Which would you like to hear
first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that
we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good
news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who
made a very good offer on your slippers
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Success full Surgeries:
Once there were 3 doctors. they were talking about their country's
success full surgeries
An Indian doctor said" in our country our
surgeons did an operation of a man who
didn’t had the kidney .they tool a kidney
from dead guy & putted in to his body .after
two days the kidney started work"
A German doctor said “my fellows doctors
took eyes from a dead man & putted in to a
blind man after one day he started watching
things"
An American doctor said "we took a man with
no brain in his skull & made him our
president. Since he become president half of
our people have nothing to do & the other
half of people are at war"
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Bad News and Very Bad News:
Doctor: I have some bad news and some
very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the
bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test
results. They said you have 24 hours to
live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!!
WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad
news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you
since yesterday. |
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How Much Pain:
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies
that she is pregnant. This is her first
pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she
has any questions.
She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried
about the pain. How much will childbirth
hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies
from woman to woman and pregnancy to
pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to
describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some
idea?," she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a
little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"
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Bad Tooth:
A man and his wife entered the dentist's
office.
"I want a toothpulled, "the man said.
"We are in a big hurry, so let us not
fool around with gas or Novocain or any
of that stuff."
"You are a very brave man," remarked the
dentist. "Which tooth is it?"
"Show him your bad tooth, honey," said
the man to his wife.
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Do you have a
solution?:
A patient came to his dentist with
problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth,
what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
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What's worse than
having your doctor tell you that you
have VD? Having your dentist tell you:
One day, a man walked into the dentist"s
office for some dental work. The dentist
said, "Sir, you have a tooth I must
pull, What type of pain killer would you
like?" The man looked at the dentist and
said, "None, thanks, I have experienced
the second greatest pain in my life."
The dentist said, "Sir, pulling this
tooth Will be painful, I suggest a
painkiller" The man looked back at the
dentist and said, "I have experienced
the second greatest pain in my life,
Nothing else will ever compare." The
dentist said, "Sir, I"m telling you, use
a painkiller." The man again said to the
dentist, "I have experienced the second
greatest pain in my life, I do not need
painkillers, now pull the tooth." The
dentist then said, "Okay, You asked for
it, But first, tell me what was the
second greatest pain in your life?" The
man said, "Yes, I remember it well. I
was hunting in some woods north of here
one snowy day. Walking through the
woods, the urge came upon me and I
headed over to a tree. Well, I started
to do my thing, and when the first part
dropped, It set off a large bear trap
that was hidden in the snow that closed
on my balls. That was the second
greatest pain in my life" The dentist
then said, "Ouch! But then what was the
first greatest pain in your life?" The
man replied, "When I reached the end of
the chain." |
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